The title of this piece may have surprised you, however, trust me to always mean well for you my Korean chingu (aside my mischievous tips and tricks that always threaten to put you in trouble. So according to the title, unarguably there are some things you can’t just have as a Korean lover.

I mean, being a Korean enthusiast and these things don’t just work together because they are completely the opposite of each other. What are these things I am exaggerating so much, right? Hear me out.

Your steeze and composure

The first of these things is your steeze and your composure (lol). If you are Nigerian, you can already relate to what I am talking about. However, for my non-Nigerian audience, although the Nigerian meaning for ‘steeze’ goes a little bit wider and weirder, it just means executing something stylishly and easily but ‘steeze and composure’ together in the Nigerian meaning is showing how collected and unfazed you can appear even in the most unlikely situations. Now, ask yourself, as a Korean enthusiast, do you have that?

Oh! You want to argue that? Before you do, let me remind you of some things. Have you forgotten how you drool whenever you see hot Korean actors on screen? Let’s talk about how you cry like a baby when watching emotional scenes in K-Dramas or should we talk about how you scream excitedly when listening to K-pop songs and you get a bombastic side-eye from your non-Korean friends, or how you talk like someone in wonderland when talking about anything Korean, should I continue? No? I guessed as much. So where’s the steeze and composure in all that? Just accept that you’ve lost your steeze and composure and let’s move on.

Staying away from delulu

I love how we’ve all come together and agreed that as Korean lovers; we are all delusional (in a good way). I am not here to judge you, but I know some of you already have 3 or more cute children with Park Seo Joon or Lee Min Ho in your delulu land. What I am saying is that as a Korean enthusiast, you have lost your ability to avoid delusion. I mean, why are Korean celebrities whom we’ve never met best friends with some of us? We even go as far as calling them Oppas and Unnis (yes, that’s me!).

The Ability to speak without Korean words

Finally, the last thing you will lose as a Korean lover is the ability to speak properly like a native of your country without using Korean words. I guess it’s confession time and I must confess that I am strongly guilty of this because tell me why I always find a way to put the Korean word ‘Jinjja (really?)’ in my words not just when speaking English but even when speaking my native language (Yoruba). Like I have really abused that word both consciously and unconsciously.

Don’t you even dare try to run away (stares in come back here). I know I am not the only one guilty of this. Even if you are not learning the Korean language, I know you randomly throw Korean words you’ve learned in the media between your sentences. Yes or yes?

How relatable is this? Tell me in the comment section and don’t forget to tell me the number of children you have with which Korean celebrity. Annyeong!